Major Rambling Alert

5 Feb
Having another down day today. I talked to the counselor here, and…I’m pretty sure I felt worse afterwards. It wasn’t anything she said, but I just kind of thought she would help more or…it just made me think of all the things I’m depressed about at once, I guess. All I know is that after the appointment, I couldn’t stop crying…and I didn’t expect for it to be like that.
I tried reaching out to a classmate of mine, but he said that since he has to wake up early tomorrow he can’t talk…and it was like…6 PM. I mean, I’m sure he’s busy or whatever, but I don’t think that was the problem. I think he was just…uncomfortable maybe? I don’t know. I just…he said I could call him whenever I need to talk, so I did…and yeah, I guess I can’t actually call him whenever. So……..that made me feel even worse, and then I fell asleep for a little.
I’ve been so tired recently. I pretty much slept all day, and still could hardly force myself to wake up for the appointment today. I usually have trouble sleeping, but now it’s harder to stay awake. I’ve had a lot of pain today, too. And uh…had a bit of an “accident” which was super embarrassing. I have some nerve damage from the bowel resection surgery I got, and so…yeah, that happens sometimes.
I can’t eat any food right now, so it’s all IV nutrition. I’m ok with this, because eating is just complicated now, but I’m sure this won’t help with the weight issue…but I guess that’s the least of my worries today. But…I am kind of craving a “cutie” now…you know those little oranges that are super easy to peel and they’re small and adorable?
Yeah, that.
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2 Responses to “Major Rambling Alert”

  1. hlamme February 6, 2013 at 2:59 PM #

    *hugs*

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