19 Sep

Sorry for my absence. I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed, and I’ve been extremely tired. I’ve had a really hard time getting out of my bed, and I’ve missed my last 2 chemo appointments due to low blood counts that won’t seem to stay up anymore. I have had my exam week for school, and am not sure how much longer I can continue doing this. It’s been rough. I’ve spent much more time asleep than awake, and I’m strongly considering moving back home as I don’t think I can handle school anymore. This has made me pretty deeply depressed, and I’ve kind of withdrawn from talking to people a little bit. I’m really not sure how much more I can take, and I just want this all to be over.


6 Responses to “Hi”

  1. Knot Telling September 19, 2013 at 1:33 PM #

    Hi sweetie.

    I’m nowhere near as young as you, but I think I know how you feel. My ANC has been well under 1000 for over a year now, sometimes down to like 700 – without chemo, but because of my last round of chemo.

    I also deal with extreme fatigue and sometimes I also feel like I just want it to be over.

    Lots of love and gentle hugs, sweet one. It’s awful, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

    • BcomingFree September 19, 2013 at 1:35 PM #

      It’s been hard. Thanks for the love and hugs.

  2. JamesPB September 24, 2013 at 8:47 AM #

    Wow, you certainly are an inspiration. Wish I could trade places with you in order to give you some relief, if only for a month or two. My own cancer is nothing compared to yours and the battle you are going through. I enjoy your blog. You are such a wonderful, talented writer. Although you probably don’t feel like it, you are a breath of fresh air. You’ve touched a lot of people with your writing.

  3. Alex October 19, 2013 at 12:46 PM #

    I’m wondering if you could explain hospice to me a little more. My sister is on hospice and has been told that she can no longer have chemo now that she has accepted this approach. She was told that no one is given chemo while on hospice, but she would like to continue treatment while still getting the better pain management of hospice. You are the only person online I can find who is doing both, so if you could explain that it would be great. Thanks in advance.

    • BcomingFree October 20, 2013 at 6:26 PM #

      A lot of hospices do not accept people who are on chemotherapy, but some do if the chemotherapy is palliative rather than curative. But then insurance is less likely to cover it. I hope that helps?

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