Tag Archives: brother

My Date

3 Sep

My date didn’t go as planned. It was raining, so we couldn’t go to the zoo. I suggested the aquarium, but then he said he couldn’t stay very long. I also was not feeling very well, so we just relaxed and had some tea. I didn’t get to know too much more about him, and it feels like it didn’t last long enough. It may have felt that way regardless of how long it was, though. Overall, I think it was a success, though. I say this because he wants to try for either the zoo or aquarium again next Sunday. So that’s gotta be good news, right? It didn’t come up about the cancer, so I didn’t tell him, but it came up when I saw him at school today, so I told him. He didn’t seem like he wanted to run away, so that was good. He just told me that everything is going to be okay. I wish I could believe that, but I’ll let him believe that.

 I also met this other guy, and he came over the other day. I really like him. His mom is a breast cancer survivor, and me being sick doesn’t scare him away. That’s what I’m always most worried about. Time will tell whether that’s the case or not, but I’d like to think that it’s going to work out. He said he would like to come to chemo with me and my doctor’s appointments if I would let him. He’s really sweet and has been texting me really nice things.

My parents and my little brother visited this past weekend. I enjoyed their company. It was good to have them around. Especially my little brother. I didn’t think he was going to come, but I’m so glad that he did. We’re pretty much best friends.

My Dream Made No Sense At All

25 Aug

I was dying from cancer. I was having a very weird conversation with Jim on the phone. My dad got diagnosed with colon cancer, so I kept following him everywhere, and he got annoyed. I dressed up like a ballerina and took pictures of myself and ‘how things used to be’ before I got cancer. Then, I was Stewie from Family Guy going down a slide that cost 50¢, but I paid $21. It was for people 11 years old and under. It spun you around in your thoughts. Then I was me again watching telemundo and univisión with my friend from high school. Then we talked about a bunch of people in music videos with lots of colors as I ate from a jar of peanut butter and jelly swirled together while in church. After that, my mom took a history of my cousin Crystal’s life from her before she died. Then my cousin Malcolm and I started flying in circles around the room higher and higher. I was trying to get higher than him because I’m slightly older. He’s much taller, though, and I scraped the ceiling, so it didn’t work. Then I circled so fast and I jumped awake. It was startling.

The night before, I forgot that I also dreamt that I was in a new house with my family. My room was really small and inside of my brother’s room. Then I explored it more and discovered it was huge with it’s own other bedrooms and luxurious bathrooms. Then it became a bed store. I had to run back to the original room before time ran out and I lost it forever. The bathroom was in my brother’s room. Every room was full of old baby stuff from the last family that lived there. It was all shoved to the sides of the rooms. The shower had carpet and no walls, so I felt weird in there.

I had another dream that I was at an expo, and I dressed up in my dobok to go back to a taekwondo and MMA competition. It was also an ice skating, hypnotism, and ribbon twirling competition. I wanted to compete, but hadn’t fought in a long time, so I couldn’t. We looked at some clothes and hair ties they were selling at the expo and my mom got into it with a lady at the scarf table. We looked at some clothes and then went to watch the matches. We saw some guys fighting tirelessly and they were still going when we left. We watched my friends compete, and we sat next to this lady who claimed she loved me since the day she gave birth to me as she clung to me during the hypnotism routine. my mom then explained the details of my birth. The woman’s daughter and the woman went to the parking lot with us and they left. My mom and I got in her rental car. She had forgotten to cap the exhaust pipes. On my passenger side, I had a steering wheel and what I thought were brakes, too. It was just a shortbread cookie can. There was bluetooth hookup for your pager. It was a kind of old car.

My last dream was that I was at the hospital working with my mom. I was following her all over the place. We tested my dad’s kidney function and his heart function. Then she got a phone call and had to leave. I saved some medicine for one of her patients in the medicine cabinet at the office. Then she took me with her, though I was supposed to go with my dad. We posed for pictures with a dog on a tennis court, then we went through the halls of the hospital. I started to samba dance, and we saw all of these people in costumes ready to do a dance competition. We went into Dr. Niambi’s office, which was huge as in my dream she was the ‘queen of my medical school’ and we talked to some ladies about their children. My mom asked me to leave, and then they discussed ‘adult matters.’ I came back, and was asked why. I said I missed them, and they all cooed. We were then all dressed up. Will Smith was talking and his kids were playing in her water fountain getting all dirty. My dad and I moved away from them and took Dr. Niambi’s microphones out of her call box. She came back and started to sing, so my dad and I ballroom danced. We put her microphones back, and then my mom went into her office to discuss her partner dropping her from the practice to see whose fault it was. Then I woke up.

This Too Shall Pass

14 Aug

My brother’s 18th birthday is tomorrow, and he’s getting a tattoo. It’s gonna be of a lion and it will say “this too shall pass” in honour of his friend Sierra, who was killed as a result of traumatic brain injury from a car crash this year. His girlfriend has a tattoo that says the same thing, but not the lion. I think hers has a heart or something on it. It’s on her wrist. He wants his on his shoulder.

August

1 Aug

Ok, August, here’s the deal. You and I have a lot going on. I have a day of doctor appointments on the 6th, I head back to Atlanta on the 10th, I start my clinical trial on the 11th, school on the 12th, my brother turns 18 on the 15th..my aunt and tkd instructor both have a bday this month. You’re gonna fly by and my head is gonna spin, so I would like us to go in on the same page. I would like to be prepared. Please bring me only good news, and please please just work with me!

National Sibling Day

10 Apr

It’s National Sibling Day, and I just wanted to thank God for the most amazing little brother ever!!! I miss him. 🙂 He’s so funny, and he does EVERYTHING. Definitely a renaissance man. He always cheers me up. That’s all ❤

What Do We Say?

24 Jan

I think my little brother is depressed. I don’t really know what to say to him, either. He’s just…sad. We’re really close, so we used to talk to each other all the time about everything and laugh at stupid stuff together, but now we don’t even know what to say to each other anymore. We hardly talk anymore. When we do it’s awkward. My whole family, really. We try to pretend that things are normal, but I think we overdo it sometimes. Kind of like when people who are secretly kind of racist try to act like they’re not racist, and they wind up coming off as racist because they overdo it. It’s like that. I don’t really know what to do or what to say. I just want him to be happy, and I don’t have any idea what to say to him or if that’s even possible. He’s been just participating in tons of hobbies and hanging out with friends all the time for distraction purposes, I think. But I guess, it’s not enough anymore.

The Most Interesting Kid in the World

18 Jan

My brother was the Phantom of the Opera in his school’s ballet!  🙂  My dad is even at work today! Surprised me, but I’m glad he feels well enough to do that.

My brother always has fun no matter what he’s doing. He’s the most interesting kid in the world…like those Dos Equis commercials. He scuba dives and does marine bio research, dances hip hop, modern, and ballet, he’s in sheriff explorers because he wants to be a cop after he does the Marines, he’s in some kind of drag racing group that his physics teacher runs, he trains these kids at the gym, and he trains dogs! I have no idea where he finds the time for all this. Probably because he never does homework lol. It’s crazy! I get tired just thinking about it.

My brother gets really passionate about things that interest him, so I’m not sure how, but he manages to make time. This usually involves reducing time spent on schoolwork, lol. Most of the dance stuff happens during school, though, since he’s at a school for the arts.

Blowing Sunshine?

13 Jan

I’ve been letting myself feel how I feel recently instead of forcing myself to feel happy and “blow sunshine” as a friend of mine so eloquently put it. Letting myself have some time to feel upset has actually been making all the other days happier. Maybe it’s just by comparison, but either way, I feel happier for it.

I do know I’ve been able to appreciate everything more recently. All the little things have become big things, and then the things that seemed like a big deal before…seem like little things now. My family and I sat down and had the “Advanced Directives” talk again pretty recently. Every one of us expressed our wishes on what we would prefer under certain circumstances, including my little brother (the only one to not have it all in writing…besides the cat, of course). And then…I think to lighten the mood a little, we went into really outrageous and unlikely circumstances, asking what we would do in those cases. Made it less awkward, I think.

Please Pray for My Dad

22 Nov

So my parents and brother are visiting me for Thanksgiving. That’s great, because I miss them SO incredibly much. We’re all very close.

We were talking, and my mom says something along the lines of “Your dad’s surgery, blah blah blah…” Now, everyone has neglected to tell me anything about any surgery my dad is supposed to have! Apparently, they’ve been sitting on this information for like 2 months now. So, TODAY I find out that my dad is getting surgery on Friday the 30th because of what they believe to be a tumor on his left tonsil. It’s swollen 4x the size of his right one, and he’s been really tired recently. They’re concerned it may be either a lymphoma or a squamous cell carcinoma, but they won’t know until the surgery and they send it to pathology. Honestly, I’m hoping for C) None of the Above.

My mom continues talking, and says, “We’ll see if we can get the surgeons to do both surgeries at the same time” My reaction: “What is this BOTH you speak of?” To which my mom replies, “Oh, your dad didn’t tell you? He also has a tumor on his eye that they’re going to remove.” Of course he didn’t tell me! He never tells me when things are wrong with him. I really don’t know why, but he just doesn’t. These are things I’d really like to know. Regardless of how or when I found out, it still remains that my dad is getting surgery soon, so please keep him in your prayers.

Also, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

My Actual Family…

22 Nov
MOM: Poppin bottles in the ice, like a frizard
ME: What’d you say?
MOM: My mouth slipped…
DAD: What would you have said if your mouth didn’t slip?
MOM: I dunno…lizard or something
BROTHER: What’s a frizard?
DAD: It’s a cold lizard