Tag Archives: cure

Gerson’s Diet

19 Jun

I saw that Gerson’s diet movie today. I’m not really sure how I feel about it. Everything just seemed so biased, because it was a sales pitch and a lot of the information was outdated. I’m not saying it was a bad idea, I mean eating fruits and vegetables and juicing is super healthy, but the way the word “cure” got thrown around so loosely made me a little uncomfortable. Even the music showed the bias. I’m willing to try…most parts of it, I’m not saying it’s bad. I don’t necessarily agree with the part about the coffee enema. Doesn’t really sound like my idea of a Friday night. The movie just left me feeling defensive and confused because of the subjectivity of it. If it were a little more objective, and stopped making it seem like everyone who does conventional treatment died from it…maybe I wouldn’t feel so conflicted. I feel like conventional medicine and alternative medicine should complement each other, not oppose each other. Just my opinion.

Cure for Cancer?

18 Jun

I visited a friend a few weeks ago, and he and his father were talking about how cancer research is a conspiracy theory, and about how the government has already found a cure for cancer, but they won’t share it because the money is in the treatment and not the cure. They said, knowing about my condition and my father’s condition, that they would never donate money to cancer research. I hate when people say things like this, because there are so many scientists slaving away in their labs trying to cure this awful disease. So many people don’t know that even two people with the same kind of cancer have essentially two different diseases because their bodies work differently and respond to drugs differently. They’re different on a cellular or molecular level, and so the treatment should be tailored to the individual. This makes finding a cure that much harder, because it’s not one cure we’re looking for. It’s not 1 cure for each cancer. Who knows how many different kinds there really are? In the meantime, scientists are making huge headway in coming up with better treatments for cancers than what existed before. Many of these new treatments are less toxic, because they are more directed at the cancer cells due to more specific properties of the cells. I tried to share this information with my friend and his father, but they did not want to hear it. It’s people like this, people who do not listen to the other side of things, that make it harder to get the funding needed to try to find better treatments and even cures.

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Keep Calm and CURE CANCER!

26 Apr

Rant

14 Apr

GAHHHH!!!!!!! ***EXPLETIVES** WHYYYYYY?!?!

I went to the hospital, and they found another small mass. I’m so tired of this crap, seriously, I can’t handle it!! I just want cancer to leave me and my family alone! I feel SO defeated. I just wanna be better already and forget all this bull ever happened, but like…I don’t even know if I’m even gonna get better at this point, like I don’t even know if that’s the plan anymore. They just keep talking about “stabilization” and stuff, and I just wanna be better, I can’t live like this. I really can’t live like this. /rant

School Plans

31 Jan

I had some classmates today have a “serious talk” with me. They talked about how they can tell I’m not happy, how my grades are suffering, and that they think I should take time off from school. Now I know they did this in my best interest, or they wouldn’t have taken the time out of their day to say anything at all. They even send me notes, recordings of lectures, and other study materials. They sit down with me to go over things I don’t understand. So this isn’t me being angry with them. However, what they fail to completely understand is that this type and stage of cancer is something that I will probably be on medication for…for the rest of my life. This is something I’m going to have to deal with, and it’s probably not going to get magically cured by next school year or the one after, and then I come back to school and everything’s alright. It being metastatic means basically that I’m going to have to learn to work through it/with it/around it and deal with things with that in mind. Taking time off from school would only mean that I forget what I’ve learned, come back and have to repeat the year, and I will still be on a plethora of medications. If I quit, I would just sit at home being depressed about my life for um…forever. I don’t see that as a solution. Not at all. Plus, I’m definitely not a sit at home kind of girl. Not usually, at least.

So my choice is either I quit (which if you knew me…that is NOT an option), or I just find ways to work with my body so it’s happy(ish) and I still get my work done. That may mean finding new study techniques, since my memory is heading south. But this is what I worked so hard for, and I’m here…right now…and I’m not willing to let that go! I mean…I know I’m stubborn, but that’s partly how I got into medical school in the first place. The application process pretty much calls for it. Medical school has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. The first time I said that I wanted to be a doctor, I was 3 years old. No joke!

So once I explained all of this to them, they decided that if I’m going to stay, I have to do it right. I have to get grades that I’m satisfied with. They’re going to help me do that, and they’ve suggested resources for me that I was actually unaware of. We get to pick our next dissection groups, so they’re going to be my group members. They’ll be more understanding if I can’t make it to lab, and they’ll be willing to catch me up on the material. They’re really good at gross anatomy anyways. One of them is in my community health group, and they’re going to make sure that if I can’t make it to that, that it’s not reflected in my peer evaluations. They’re also going to work with me when it’s more convenient for me (as in when I’m not totally drugged up) as opposed to the schedule that they set before, which was pretty inconvenient for me. Once I get through first year, I have the option of decelerating and doing second year’s material over the course of two years, and that sounds like the best option right now. Less to worry about at once. Less stress. Less time commitment. Second year is a lot more intense anyways, so it seems like a good idea to do the decelerated version. That’s as far in advance as I even want to think right now, because of how quickly things change, but as of right now…that’s the plan.

Medicated Stream of Consciousness

28 Jan

I talked to my social worker and some other people, we looked at the advanced directives stuff and power of attorney stuff again to see if I wanted to update anything. I feel like that’s a bad sign, is that a bad sign? I keep getting these bad signs, and I’m not sure if it’s just me taking things the wrong way, or if they’re trying to off me! Like their goal just seems to be “progression free” and no one is saying anything like “NED” or “remission” or “cure.” I don’t know if their vocabulary is going to switch up later on, or if those are just not…options for me. I mean, I knew this was going to be a kind of longer term thing, but…uh…I’m like legitimately scared. I’m probably just overanalyzing each individual word and on too much medication, I dunno.

Cool quote

4 Jan

Cool quote.

“I suspect that cancer doesn’t give a rat’s ass whether you have a positive mental attitude. It just sits in there multiplying away, whether you are admirably stoic or weeping and wailing. The only reason to have a positive mental attitude is that it makes life better. It doesn’t cure cancer.”

Who Needs Breasts, Anyway?  by Molly Ivins, 2002, Time