Tag Archives: dad

I’m Back

12 May

Sorry I’ve been gone, I haven’t been feeling well. I wound up staying with my brother’s godmother for a few days, but then my dad came up to take care of me, so I’m back at my apartment now. He cleaned my whole apartment for me! I’m happy to see him. My little brother went to prom with his gf. So cute! I’ll update with more stuff later. Still not feeling great.

Also, Happy Mother’s Day!

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Good News!!

19 Apr

Ok, today seemed like a complete failure at first. I talked to my friend at school. I was getting there and it wasn’t raining. As soon as I stepped outside, BAM rained all over me. Poured rain. I was soaked and cold. They keep it freezing in that building, too. But when I got inside, my dad texted me that he just wanted to tell me he loves me <3.

Anyways, she gave me the advice of picking a scripture a week to go by that applies and really speaks to me that week. This week, I’ll go with that declaration I posted. Next week, I’ll go with a scripture. She also told me to pick one goal for each week and just focus on that one thing. This week, I’m going to try not to be irritable with my friends. I’ve been doing that, and I don’t want to. That’s not me. So, I’m going to consciously make an effort not to do that. We talked for about an hour and a half. She has anxiety, too, and was telling me how she copes with everything, that I’m not alone, and that more people deal with these kinds of things than I know. She said she was glad I talked to her and to talk to her anytime. That helped a lot. Plus I got the grade back for my exam that I took yesterday. I passed! I got a 74!! Not too shabby.

Also, my dad gave me good news! I talked to my daddy just now, and he said that his doctor said it looks like everything is gone!! Woohoo!!!! He had an MRI and it showed that he was all clear, and in 6 weeks, he’ll get a PET scan. YAY!!!!! Best news I’ve heard in a very long time. Maybe ever. Yeah…ever.

So in conclusion, today is not a failure. I may still be crying today. I may still feel lonely. I may still be in physical pain. But today is also good.

Dad’s Next Step

29 Mar

So my dad’s 1st post treatment PET scan is scheduled for April 19th. I’m not really sure what to expect to see or not see in the scan, but I guess we’ll find out.

Close, but no Banana!

28 Feb

Found out that my dad won’t be done with treatment this weekend. Bummer 😦

His WBC counts were too low for chemo on Monday (welcome to the club), so he got 2 Neupogen injections this week, and the chemo was pushed back to March 11th – 12th. He had a lot of skin irritation from radiation, so the 4 more days of radiation that he has were also pushed back. He’ll be getting them next week, Mon – Thurs. Since I have a lot of make up work and exams to keep up with and study for, my parents have been keeping me a little out of the loop with him, so that’s all I know for now. They’ll fill me in with more details later…once these exams are out of the way. That’s fine, I guess. I just like to know exactly how he’s doing. Makes me feel less anxious.

Updates on Daddy

23 Feb

My feet are on fire, omg! In other news…my daddy only has 1 week left of chemo and radiation, woot! He’s been doing surprisingly well with all of it. I mean he can’t taste and he has mucositis in the back of his throat, so he’s lost a lot of weight…but the radiation has given him a stunning tan ^_^ and he’s been trying to do some work here and there around the house since he hates being bored or just chilling…probs where I get that from. He’s also been trying to do some stuff in the yard, and wears this big floppy hat and lathers up in sunscreen to protect himself from the sun. It’s pretty funny.

He’s mostly just been desperately searching for something to eat that he can actually taste or that doesn’t taste awful…AND that doesn’t hurt as it goes down. He also said the anti-nausea meds they gave him makes him nauseous. Ugh. Otherwise he’s doing pretty well. 🙂

Chemobrain and…

19 Jan

Apparently my last whole kidney is having problems…I reeeeally don’t wanna end up on dialysis, so I hope this medicine works. And…stereotactic radiotherapy for the lung mets soon. Scheduling a colonoscopy soon as well. Sounds like great fun! -__-

And about my mom crying over winter break…

My mom is the kind of person that feels like she has to be strong for everyone and fight hard for everything, so seeing her cry was…just weird honestly. She has her best friend to talk to…her best friend lives here closer to me and helps take care of me since I’m farther from home. She doesn’t tell my dad things she’s scared about, because she doesn’t want him to be scared. He takes those cues from her, and once she said that, I realized that’s what she’s been doing with me, and why she was crazy enough to let me be so far away from home during all of this…to give off a “no big deal” vibe, I think. She tends to do that so that no one else panics, since she’s the one with all the medical knowledge in the family.

This seems a little scatterbrained…probably because it is. Probably because I am, so I’ll leave it. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it. My blog, my rules. There. *Tee hee*

The Most Interesting Kid in the World

18 Jan

My brother was the Phantom of the Opera in his school’s ballet!  🙂  My dad is even at work today! Surprised me, but I’m glad he feels well enough to do that.

My brother always has fun no matter what he’s doing. He’s the most interesting kid in the world…like those Dos Equis commercials. He scuba dives and does marine bio research, dances hip hop, modern, and ballet, he’s in sheriff explorers because he wants to be a cop after he does the Marines, he’s in some kind of drag racing group that his physics teacher runs, he trains these kids at the gym, and he trains dogs! I have no idea where he finds the time for all this. Probably because he never does homework lol. It’s crazy! I get tired just thinking about it.

My brother gets really passionate about things that interest him, so I’m not sure how, but he manages to make time. This usually involves reducing time spent on schoolwork, lol. Most of the dance stuff happens during school, though, since he’s at a school for the arts.

Lame Break is Lame!

22 Dec

So…crappiest break in the history of breaks 😦 this better improve, because it’s renal when I get back to school…ugh -__-

I don’t even know if I’ll be home for Christmas…I really wanna be home for Christmas, because I missed Christmas completely last year. I was down for the count, so to speak. Didn’t wake up at all that day. LAME! And I wanna do family stuff…and junk. I know my mom has to work on Christmas, but I at least want to hang out with my dad!

I just wanna leeeeeave! It just sucks, because I still feel absolutely awful 😦

Simple.

21 Dec

So I figured out that I don’t need to talk to my dad to show him that I care. I just need to hug him, lean my head on his shoulder when we’re sitting next to each other, watch a movie with him…that’s all there is to it!

I want to be able to be home (and awake) for Christmas this year. I want that.

After Further Review…

20 Dec

IMG_5245

Thinking about it…I’m glad Ricky stopped treatment. It was making him miserable, and the result would have ultimately been the same, but slower and much less enjoyable than the way he spent it. Even though I wish he were here still, I’m glad he’s now cancer free. And yes, my life is kind of “$*#^@&*&%@” right now, if you will, and I feel kind of miserable most days, but in the grand scheme of things…at least I still have it. It just takes situations like this to put all of that into perspective I guess.

I’m glad I got my mom to open up to me…the challenge will be getting my dad to open up. He’s never been a big talker, and NOT a sharer of feelings. I know he’s got to be scared, and I don’t want him to be (though that’s impossible, it’s what I want)! I feel like if he can say how he feels and just feel it, maybe…I don’t know, maybe it would help him, too. He hasn’t talked to anyone about how he FEELS about any of this; only about what’s happening. Facts. Such a guy. I just don’t know how to start that conversation with him besides saying, “So daddy, how do you really feeeeel?” And that’s awkward, because we usually talk about basketball, football, sheetrock (??), electronics, kung fu movies, I dunno 2 x 4, table saws and stuff lol.