Tag Archives: ER

Someone Wrote This About Me

25 Aug

I know a 23 year old girl who has been declared disabled. She has had several types of cancer. She is weak and always sick. She coughs up blood. She is thin and can not eat solid foods. She visits the ER at least every 3 days to get blood and fluids and meds and nutrition to keep her alive. She has every right to give up on life. She is in pain all the time. She has been like this for over a year now. The doctors told her she has a less than 10% chance of surviving what she has.…

Do you know what she did last week? She started her next year in medical school. After her first day of school, she ended up in the ER to get blood. She then went home and started reading a required text that will likely take her most of the year to read. After the third day of school, she had to call an ambulance to go to the ER. She was coughing up blood and choking on it. She had procedures and then went back home late that night. She managed to get to school the next day. She still drives herself. She wants to be a doctor, and she is not giving up on that dream. She thinks everyday that this may be her last day. She is scared. She is in great pain. But, she is not giving up. 

It’s strange to think that I inspire people. It’s a weird feeling because I don’t know that I’m doing it. All I try to do is get through each day. When people tell me that they feel inspired by me or that I’m so strong, I usually end up feeling awkward. But somehow, this struck me. It showed me how by doing what I do, it can actually mean something. That motivates me to keep going even when it seems impossible. Thank you for believing in me. I will try not to let you down.

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I Left.

12 Jul

Last night I went to the ER because I was in so much pain, I was vomiting blood, and I had a ridiculously high fever of 104. They were able to stop the bleeding, reduce the pain, and bring the fever down to 102, but the wanted to admit me. They put me on broad spectrum antibiotics until they figure out exactly what type of infection we’re dealing with here. But you know what I did? I left. I just…walked out. Enough of this crap. I wanted to go home. My friend, Kristi, is coming to visit me today and I wanted it to be a visit at my apartment, so I left. I’ll just take a bunch of Tylenol and hope my fever goes away, I guess, I mean what can you do? And I went to the pharmacy, I have antibiotics that were prescribed, I’ll take those. I want to be in my own bed, puh-lease! For at least a week, damn! Is that too much to ask? Seriously? It’s my birthday this weekend, can’t it please just be good, please?

I really thought I was a goner last night. I panicked. I get annoyed when people try to sell me on bull. I know miracles happen, I’ve been praying for one. But I also know that God created doctors and scientists who come up with medicines, and He made science, and these people are pretty smart. They may not always be right, but they’re right a lot. I hope for the best, but I also prepare for the worst so as not to be caught off guard. Few people will let me talk about it. They keep telling me I’ll be fine, but you know what? I’m not fine. I have a legitimate fear that I will die from this, and I feel like people are invalidating my feelings. Everyone acts like no that could never happen, not to me. I don’t want to die, but maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Hopefully I won’t, but there are two outcomes. I guess this is why I need a counselor. People say that we’re all going to die, and that I’ll die eventually, but I sure wasn’t planning to come this close in my 20s. There’s blood all over my bed. Last night was bad. I wish I knew what God’s bigger plan for me was. Everything is so uncertain right now. I don’t like this constant uncertainty.

Hospital Time

21 Apr

So I called my doctor’s answering service, and told them how I was feeling last night, and my doctor called me back and told me to go to the ER. I went to the ER, and I was taken back pretty quickly. They took some more blood even though they drew some blood already that morning. They did a sputum sample, a chest x-ray, and a CT scan. They eventually told me that I had a mild case of pneumonia, and put me on some antibiotics and fluids. They also put me on some medicine to bring down the fever as well as some painkillers. Hopefully since it’s mild, I’ll get to leave soon. I just feel so blah, and I know I have this exam coming up. This was just very inconvenient timing. That’s all though, I’m doing okay.

Starting Out the New Year with a Booooo! :(

1 Jan

I called the doctor, and he had me go to the ER (super lame), and they admitted me (even more lame!) so now I’ve spent Christmas AND New Year’s Eve/Day in the hospital. I’m hoping to get out soon. I would like to be able to go to school still this semester, and it starts…TOMORROW. I know I won’t make it to class tomorrow, but the notes are all online, so that’s fine, but I really would like to be able stay enrolled this semester. I’m still not really sure what’s wrong, but I got some broad spectrum antibiotic for some unidentified infection I suppose, and steroids to reduce swelling in my brain. My sodium levels also got really low, so I got mannitol, too. Fun stuff! Oh, and of course pain medications for pain. Can’t really go wrong with Dilaudid, so that’s how my holiday went.