Sorry for my absence. I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed, and I’ve been extremely tired. I’ve had a really hard time getting out of my bed, and I’ve missed my last 2 chemo appointments due to low blood counts that won’t seem to stay up anymore. I have had my exam week for school, and am not sure how much longer I can continue doing this. It’s been rough. I’ve spent much more time asleep than awake, and I’m strongly considering moving back home as I don’t think I can handle school anymore. This has made me pretty deeply depressed, and I’ve kind of withdrawn from talking to people a little bit. I’m really not sure how much more I can take, and I just want this all to be over.
Light in the Darkness
28 Dec“I know it’s so easy to focus on your struggles, to let them submerge your mind, surround your day with hallow negativity, and restrain you from seeing beauty. I know what it’s like to want to lay in bed all day, and not face the day. But pain is inevitable, misery is optional. Fight for your happiness, realize you deserve it. We complicate our life so much and it’s exhausting. Be grateful for all that is going right, focus on that and trust in the universe to aid you with endurance. Never let yourself forget that there is always light in the darkness.”
OH. MY. GOD.
23 DecI was exhausted yesterday, and was able to fall asleep with relative ease last night. Fairly early, too. I was really excited about this, because I usually will lie awake in pain, and that’s not the way I like to spend my nights. Imagine that!
However, I woke up sometime in the middle of the night in the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life! Oh. My. God. I can not even begin to describe the way I was feeling, and I don’t even want to think about it too hard right now, because it was both horrendous and terrifying. I started to scream for someone to do something about it, but then I felt my voice catch in my throat, and all I could do was whimper and cry.
I’m still not exactly sure why that happened, but all I know is that I’m not in that kind of pain right now. I hope that NEVER happens again. I’m getting scans and tests in addition to the few I had last night in order to figure out what happened. For now, I’m going to take a nap, because I’m still exhausted.
First Day of Medical School was Today!!!
2 JulOMG, such a long day, but it was great! I was exhausted after not sleeping last night and having to wake up to move my car (parking in midtown Atlanta is frustrating to say the least), but it was fantastic!
I got a laptop, portable multiple drive/DVD burner…thing, backpack, pen, flash drive, and external hard drive. I met my classmates, faculty members, and advisors. Tomorrow, I get my big sib. I’m really excited for that!
I was looking over my class schedule, and I feel behind already! lol it’s SOOO intense. I knew what I was getting myself into, though. I foresee a lot of caffeine in my future, that’s all I have to say about that.
I live like 3 miles away from the school, and it took me 30 minutes to get there and an hour to get back! A combination of traffic and being utterly lost. I’m glad I gave myself that extra time, as it seems I may have to do all the time here in Atlanta. No matter, I love it here. I can walk nearly everywhere I need to go from my apartment. Convenient!!
I can’t believe it’s really happening! I’m living my dream!!!