Tag Archives: hope

We Just Want Answers!

19 Dec

So, here’s the situation. My dad’s pathology report showed a 1.5 cm tumor on the left tonsil. That was removed. Great. Then, he saw an ENT that scoped him through the nose, and did an MRI with and without contrast last Sunday, and said that there’s another tumor (or piece of tumor) still in there that’s about 2.8 cm. The cancer that is still in there is also invading the base of his tongue. This all adds up to 4.3 cm. That being said, that means that he’s probably a stage III, not the stage I or II we originally thought.

Not the news we wanted, however, this is a treatable cancer, and there’s still hope. There’s always hope. Sometimes hope is all there is..

SOOO, this same ENT wanted to do a radical neck dissection surgery to remove lymph nodes from the left side, along with the remaining tumor, and she wanted to get “clear margins of about 5-6 mm.” If she couldn’t do that, she would still remove the tumor, but the surgery would be less extensive. If she got the margins she wanted, she said she wouldn’t see the need for him to have chemotherapy or radiation. This sounds good, because chemotherapy and radiation suck, but we would probably want him to at least do radiation anyways. However, if she couldn’t get the margins she wanted, he would definitely need radiation, and possibly need chemotherapy (They usually use carboplatin, cisplatin, 5-FU, paclitaxel, docetaxel, cetuximab, and/or something of the like for this type). They put in a PEG tube early, as the treatment can cause mucositis, which would render him unable to eat.

My mom called some radiation specialists at UF’s Shand’s Hospital, and they said that the protocol for this type of cancer is not the neck dissection surgery, it is radiation alone. Radiation alone has the same cure rate as the neck dissection surgery, and is less invasive. The type of radiation used here is the usual external beam IMRT type of radiation, and not proton therapy. He would probably get somewhere between 50 and 70 Gys, 1.8-2 Gys a day, 5 days a week, for about 7 weeks. My mom was hoping for the possibility of proton therapy (they currently tend to use electrons) because there’s a reduced risk for secondary malignancies as a long-term side effect from the treatment.

This being said, we’re all a little confused as to what to do next, and we just want some answers. Three different doctors have said 3 different things, and it’s a bit overwhelming. Right now, my dad is doing okay. He just tires very easily and is sleeping a lot. His MRIs so far haven’t shown nodes, but they have shown a tumor in his brain. It’s unknown whether it’s an incidental finding or whether it’s related to the tonsillar squamous cell carcinoma. It appears to be benign, as it hasn’t grown between the 2 times they did MRIs with and without contrast on his brain. He still hasn’t gotten his PET scan, because the inflammation from his surgery could show a false positive, so he’ll be getting that in a few weeks.

Once we figure out all of this madness, he should be starting a treatment plan in earnest…obviously. I just hope that happens soon!

My surgery was yesterday morning, so my mom has been here with me. It ran longer than expected due to some complications, and I’m in a surprising amount of pain. I didn’t expect to be in this much pain, honestly. My vitals, liver enzymes, blood calcium, kidney function tests, and CBC results are ALL really crappy, too.

My mom hasn’t been sleeping recently, so I asked if she was okay, and to really be honest with me. She, understandably, feels the need to hold it together for all of us, but that leaves her holding everything inside. So, I told her to just be honest and let it all out. She started to cry and told me she was distressed, so we just held each other for a while and had a crying session. She wants me and my dad to be with her forever. She’s also scared because my brother wants to go into the Marines and then become a police officer. She’s legitimately afraid that she will outlive all of us. This thought has occurred to me before, but I’ve tried not to let it linger. It just shook me when she actually expressed it. I asked if she had anyone to talk to that she could just be honest with, someone that could listen to her and she didn’t have to pretend that she was always okay, and she said that she did. I know she wouldn’t be this open with me on a regular basis, so I had to make sure she had someone to cry with if she needed to. I’m getting her a gift certificate for a massage for Christmas, don’t tell! We’re a mess.

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There’s Always Hope!

4 Dec

So, My dad is doing better from his surgery! He’s off of the majority of his pain medications. He’s eating chicken breasts and crab legs. He just has to be sure to chew his food thoroughly before swallowing. This doesn’t surprise me, as this is the same man that ate Thanksgiving dinner the day after he had his wisdom teeth removed. He’s rock solid.

The official pathology report from his surgery was supposed to be back yesterday, which seemed a bit soon, seeing as his surgery ended Friday afternoon. It’s fine, though. I’m just anxious to know where he’s going from here. They said the report should be in between tomorrow and Friday. I’ll update as soon as I know.
He was talking to me about his fantasy football league. He’s bored from “taking it easy” so he’s going to run a few light errands today. This is all good!

Dum Spiro, Spero: While I Breathe, I Hope

30 Nov

Here’s hoping…

My mom texted me and said that my dad is out of surgery. The pathology report is back, and she wants to call me later and discuss it with me. I just want to know what it said. The fact that there’s anything to discuss, and that she won’t just tell me right now is making me a nervous wreck over here! Since I still don’t know anything, I’m still praying it’s nothing new or that it’s some kind of “Oh, that just happens when you get older” kind of thing.

So much for hoping

So about 30 minutes after I typed out the above paragraph,  my mom called. My dad has squamous cell carcinoma in his throat. They think it’s stage 2…but more information to come when he visits the oncologist and has his follow-up with the surgeon. REALLY not the news I wanted (obviously), but with a combination of chemotherapy and radiation (total suck), he should be okay. That’s what I was told. If you pray, please keep him in your prayers.