Tag Archives: insomnia

Can’t Sleep

10 Aug

Again.

This shouldn’t surprise me. It happens all the time, even with the Ambien. Now here comes the part where I start thinking too many thoughts alone in my room and get all worked up over things that A) shouldn’t bother me, B) will never occur, or C) I shouldn’t be thinking about in the first place.

Right now, I’d say we’re at C. Still can’t stop thinking about those statistics I saw earlier. It got even worse when it metastasized to multiple distant locations, and uh…yeah, I won that bag of shit jackpot, too. Lucky me over here! I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this, which is why it’s on my list as C.

I also had a strange dream. I was at a show in an auditorium, and we kept changing seat for some weird reason that I can’t exactly explain, but it had to do with the trajectory of this thing that would slice our broccoli. Then, we left, and my brother and I had to run back to our house, but they had turned it into dorm rooms and made all the rooms smaller (everyone got a corner of the microwave to use) and locked us in the basement. *we don’t even have a basement* so we ran around campus until we could finally get into our house and we had to battle everyone inside to get our house back, but the people inside were my cousins and my little sib from school. I was livid. Then there was some cap’n crunch involved somehow and running around and a Christmas tree, and we got our house back, but had a lot of unwanted guests in the dining room.

Advertisements

Steroid Girl: My Life as an Insomniac

7 Apr

Part II

I went to the psychiatrist last Tuesday, and she said that I have major depression after looking at the survey I filled out. We didn’t do too much talking, but I wrote everything down on one of the forms while I was in the waiting room, and she read it. So she gave me Abilify because it works in a matter of 3 or 4 days instead of 4-6 weeks like the other SSRIs that they normally use. She also gave me a vitamin that’s supposed to make the Abilify more effective and she prescribed Ambien instead of the Ambien CR that I’d taken before. She said I’d feel less drugged the next day. The Ambien does make me sleepy, and I yawn a lot, but I still feel a little drugged and sleepy the next day, and I still haven’t been able to sleep through the night with it. She said to come see her this coming Thursday and to see my counselor 2x a week instead of once a week. They decided that I shouldn’t sleep by myself, so tonight will be my first night back in my apartment after staying with friends and my brother’s godmother and such. The psychiatrist is friends with my counselor, and she went to med school where I go now. Oh yeah, and not only did she have a couch (which I sat on), she also had a recliner and a big arm chair. She had a book called “All Cats Have Asperger’s” and a box of tissues that looks like the tissues are coming out of a man’s nose. The psychiatrist wanted the counselor to call her during our appointment so that they could talk about how depressed I’ve been, and now I have to call the counselor like twice a day =/. Also, my stomach has been hurting a lot, but I guess that’s kinda normal at this point. Just rolling with that one. The whole counseling thing is becoming as much of a burden as the depression/anxiety, though, and I’m not even sure if it’s working.

Will I Ever Sleep Again?

18 Mar

Find out on the next episode of…

Steroid Girl: My Life as an Insomniac

**The suspense is killing me! …yeah…it’s the suspense doing that.**
Aside 2 Feb

Feeling kind of anxious

I have chemo in the morning…in a few hours I guess, and I can’t sleep because I’m just really not looking forward to this. Ugh