Tag Archives: lungs

Fluid

1 Nov

My dad came and took me straight to the hospital. There was fluid building up in my lungs so I got a chest tube placed to drain it, so now I have that little bubbly thing. There was also fluid building up around my heart, so they did a pericardiocentesis to drain that. Plus to prevent more fluid from building up around my lungs, they’re gonna do a pleurodesis, which I’m pretty sure is gonna hurt. They’re basically going to intentionally scar the lining of my lungs with chemicals. I saw my mom, too. My parents were basically surprised by how bad I looked and got all emotional and stuff and it kinda freaked me out. My brother is coming with his girlfriend later. I missed him. But it’s not as hard to breathe now, I just hate being in the hospital.

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SRS

15 Jun

I start SRS for my lungs on Monday. I had my markers placed, my pre-treatment consultation, I’m going in 3 times, and I’m a little nervous. I know it’s not going to be a huge deal…I don’t think it’s going to be a huge deal, but I’m a little nervous about the fatigue that follows. I have research to do, places to go, people to see…well not really people to see, but I don’t want to be insanely fatigued. You catch my drift. I just want this to be over with as quickly as possible, and most importantly, I want it to work! A month from now I’ll get a CT to see if there’s any progress, and that’s the day after my birthday, so there better be some progress! The pain has been more under control recently, and so has the nausea, so that’s good. My parents are gone now, and hopefully we’ll get good news from my dad’s PET scan results ASAP. I didn’t get taken off of any meds, but I got the dosage lowered on one, so that’s good. I think that’s all for now.

Klutz?

25 Apr

I had to go back to the hospital because I was unable to breathe, but my breathing is better now. In addition to the pneumonia that I’m recovering from, the nodules in my lungs have grown, so it made for a very difficult time breathing.

In addition to that, because of the mass in my brain, I had some difficulty with coordination recently, and I fell and hit my head, which required a few stitches in my head. I’ve also been shaking a lot, and I’m not quite sure why, but my EEG was not completely normal. I’m not sure if this is a side effect of medications or because of the mass. It’s not constant, but when it happens it’s highly obnoxious.

Other than that and a headache, I’m doing better. Just very, very tired.

Crap.

25 Nov

So apparently I have new mets to my bones and my lung. Freaking excellent. I’m 22, I haven’t even done adult stuff yet. I’m not giving up or anything, but dammit! Why? I’m really scared. And, Oh.My.God.The.Pain! I just want this to hurry up and be over, whatever over is going to mean for me. Please! Today is just not a good day.

I’m so nauseous, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I can’t even make half of an effort to look at anything remotely edible today. These anti-nausea medicines are just not doing the job today…and they tend to be okay. Plus I’ve been coughing up some blood today, which scared the bejeezus out of me. And now these other doctors are talking about stuff like surgeries and palliative radiation for the bone mets…thalidomide in combination with other therapies, I don’t even know. Because apparently, we have to be more aggressive. We haven’t been aggressive enough. This thing is aggressive. He loves the word aggressive! 😡 GAHHHH But whatever they think is going to work, I’m willing to try, I suppose. I just fee like they’ve run out of options, and I don’t want that to happen. That scares me a lot.

Another thing is that everyday there just seems to be more bad news. When it rains, it pours. It really just doesn’t end, does it? I’m not even asking for a good day. I’m just asking for a day when nothing happens. A day when I just wake up, read, and go to sleep. Or how about days where I just sleep all day and do nothing, think about nothing, and worry about nothing? But that’s way too much to ask for. -____-

But what can you do? There’s literally nothing to do except keep pushing forward, because I’m not a quitter. Blah. I’d like to think that things happen for a reason. Please let there be a reason for all of this. A good reason. Cue obligatory once a day smile 🙂 and…NGUNS! Ok, I got this. I do.