Tag Archives: medication

First Day of School

12 Aug

So my first day back went pretty well. It was just orientation, so nothing difficult. It was SO tiring, though. I could sleep a thousand sleeps right now. Imagine when the lectures actually start…as in tomorrow! I have a fever and a headache, though. We got the lecture packets for the next 2 days for if we wanted to be gunners and pre-read. So…pew pew! I registered again with the office of student disabilities. I got my home health aide back, because I’ll need her in the evenings and on weekends because I’ll be tired and because of chemo and stuff. It’s kinda kicking my butt a little. It’s rougher than I thought it would be. I still haven’t figured out a way to get nutrition either. I got a waiver for my Hep B shot, since I can’t have shots like that right now. I called the company that mails me some of my medications, and apparently, my doctor never sent in one of my scripts yet, so I’ll have to call her tomorrow. It’s storming really hard right now. It stormed hard while we were in class, too, and knocked the power out for a second. I’m a little nervous about this school year. Looking at the packets and the books, it’s going to be really hard. They said so, too. I don’t know if I can really do this or if I was just kidding myself. I mean I know I could if I was healthy, but…I’m not. I’ll try my best, though. I’m in too deep to quit now!

Advertisements

Overview of Today

24 Jul

My home health nurse came this morning and got me all set up and washed up and ready for the day…the day consisting of nothing but lying in bed (a skill I’ve recently perfected) and some delicious TPN. I have hives, and I don’t know why. I thought my dad and brother would be home with me all day, but they were both gone all day. My dad was working and running errands, and my brother was doing something S.C.U.B.A. related and then hanging out with his girlfriend for the remainder of the day.

When my dad finally came home, he started paying bills and then cooking while we watched Family Guy. After that, we watched Superman together, then America’s Got Talent, and finally So You Think You Can Dance. During this time, my mom came home. She came home angry. She became even angrier upon discovering that one of my GENERIC medications after insurance cost $65 for a week’s supply. She went off. She started cussing (my mom usually doesn’t curse at all) and yelling at everyone in the house. My dad and I just gave each other a “menopause is a b*tch” look. And my dad calmly agreed to take the medication back while my mom sorted through our insurance formulary information.

Speaking of insurance, the appeal that was “denied” was denied before they even got our appeal. Also, we may have sent it to the wrong address, so we will try sending it to the other address. Hopefully this works this time, because I’m too broke for all of this nonsense.

All in all, even though I was feeling depressed today, I’m so flippin’ glad to be home!

Last Night

2 Jun

Last night was so scary. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I was feeling in my stomach last night. It was so bad that I didn’t even want to breathe because that just made it worse. I took my pain medications, but I threw them up, so I took more. I threw those up, too, but they stayed down longer than the first ones, so I didn’t think I should take anymore, as they’re really strong pain medicines. They didn’t really seem to help much, though. I eventually called the hospital, but I didn’t want to go, so I didn’t, because I figured it would be the same thing they found on Thursday. I just had an ultrasound and some blood tests then, which showed some unfortunate news, but I figured nothing new had happened between then and now, so I didn’t go. So I just slept on my bathroom floor because I kept vomiting. I was super sweaty, and being on the floor in there cooled me down and made me feel a little less nauseous. I also couldn’t stop shaking. I felt like I was going to pass out, but I didn’t. I kind of wish I would have so that I could just have some rest of some sort. Today, I was supposed to do laundry and buy groceries, but I’m just staying in bed. I feel better than last night…a lot better, but still pretty crappy. Hopefully tomorrow is much better, because that’s when I’m supposed to start my research…

Image

Breakfast of Champions

17 May

breakfast

Abilified Freakout

20 Apr

So…I know how I wrote before about Abilify not being covered by my insurance, and that I was going to make a few phone calls to see what I could do. Well I forgot to update that my psychiatrist called and said to come in to get more samples in the meantime, so I did. So I only went without it for about 2 days. I also have an appointment today, because apparently she doesn’t work Friday, but she does work Saturday mornings, and we’re going to discuss what to do about it not being covered and see if I could be possibly switched to something else while the Zoloft is still taking effect.

School Plans

31 Jan

I had some classmates today have a “serious talk” with me. They talked about how they can tell I’m not happy, how my grades are suffering, and that they think I should take time off from school. Now I know they did this in my best interest, or they wouldn’t have taken the time out of their day to say anything at all. They even send me notes, recordings of lectures, and other study materials. They sit down with me to go over things I don’t understand. So this isn’t me being angry with them. However, what they fail to completely understand is that this type and stage of cancer is something that I will probably be on medication for…for the rest of my life. This is something I’m going to have to deal with, and it’s probably not going to get magically cured by next school year or the one after, and then I come back to school and everything’s alright. It being metastatic means basically that I’m going to have to learn to work through it/with it/around it and deal with things with that in mind. Taking time off from school would only mean that I forget what I’ve learned, come back and have to repeat the year, and I will still be on a plethora of medications. If I quit, I would just sit at home being depressed about my life for um…forever. I don’t see that as a solution. Not at all. Plus, I’m definitely not a sit at home kind of girl. Not usually, at least.

So my choice is either I quit (which if you knew me…that is NOT an option), or I just find ways to work with my body so it’s happy(ish) and I still get my work done. That may mean finding new study techniques, since my memory is heading south. But this is what I worked so hard for, and I’m here…right now…and I’m not willing to let that go! I mean…I know I’m stubborn, but that’s partly how I got into medical school in the first place. The application process pretty much calls for it. Medical school has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. The first time I said that I wanted to be a doctor, I was 3 years old. No joke!

So once I explained all of this to them, they decided that if I’m going to stay, I have to do it right. I have to get grades that I’m satisfied with. They’re going to help me do that, and they’ve suggested resources for me that I was actually unaware of. We get to pick our next dissection groups, so they’re going to be my group members. They’ll be more understanding if I can’t make it to lab, and they’ll be willing to catch me up on the material. They’re really good at gross anatomy anyways. One of them is in my community health group, and they’re going to make sure that if I can’t make it to that, that it’s not reflected in my peer evaluations. They’re also going to work with me when it’s more convenient for me (as in when I’m not totally drugged up) as opposed to the schedule that they set before, which was pretty inconvenient for me. Once I get through first year, I have the option of decelerating and doing second year’s material over the course of two years, and that sounds like the best option right now. Less to worry about at once. Less stress. Less time commitment. Second year is a lot more intense anyways, so it seems like a good idea to do the decelerated version. That’s as far in advance as I even want to think right now, because of how quickly things change, but as of right now…that’s the plan.

Excellent.

5 Jan

Aaaaand now I’m getting a respiratory tract infection. Excellent.

They said that one of my medications could cause myelosuppression (bone marrow sucking at it’s job of producing blood cells), and I thought, yeah yeah yeah long list of side effects, blah blah blah…but now I have one of the lamest immune systems I’ve ever had, and I have little purple spots. I’m getting Neupogen, blood products, procrit, antibiotics, etc. Sooooo frustrated…and I’m kind of scared, but mostly just because I’m feeling so alone right now. My dad had a PET scan yesterday. Didn’t get to talk to him to see how that went.

It’s hard to think of anything else at the moment…the nurses or whoever come in every 30 minutes to do or check one thing or another, and then things are beeping and whirring, and the pump will go all crazy when it empties, but I’m trying to “go to my happy place.” I’m feeling a full blown depression coming on…I mean…my hormones and blood levels of pretty much everything are all out of whack, so it could be that. I also no longer live close to any of my friends. Not a single one. So there’s that. You know…in addition to the whole cancer thing. I don’t know…I’m just being all whiny and complaining about everything, but right now I just feel like I need to.

I talked to some people about how I’ve been feeling…emotionally…and I think it just made me feel worse. And they’re supposed to be professionals. 😥  Everything is making me cry. Like…I’ll drop the spoon for my applesauce and burst into tears. Ahh get it together! I do like that I have this outlet to vent. It’s nice, and I like that I don’t always have to pretend to be all “brave” and “strong” and stuff like people keep telling me to be. I can just…say how I feel. Honestly, all those things that people think are encouraging, are really just…annoying. Sorry! I’m trying to have happy moments and live inside of them completely while they last, I just haven’t really had any these past few days.

Starting Out the New Year with a Booooo! :(

1 Jan

I called the doctor, and he had me go to the ER (super lame), and they admitted me (even more lame!) so now I’ve spent Christmas AND New Year’s Eve/Day in the hospital. I’m hoping to get out soon. I would like to be able to go to school still this semester, and it starts…TOMORROW. I know I won’t make it to class tomorrow, but the notes are all online, so that’s fine, but I really would like to be able stay enrolled this semester. I’m still not really sure what’s wrong, but I got some broad spectrum antibiotic for some unidentified infection I suppose, and steroids to reduce swelling in my brain. My sodium levels also got really low, so I got mannitol, too. Fun stuff! Oh, and of course pain medications for pain. Can’t really go wrong with Dilaudid, so that’s how my holiday went. 

Early Morning Ouchies

6 Dec

I couldn’t fall asleep until about 2:30 am and then I woke up at 4:30 am with excruciating pain in my jaw. That’s a new one for me. It just won’t go away, and I can’t go to sleep! I’m exhausted and frustrated, and my pain meds aren’t exactly helping too much right now. Not like I want them to, at least. Now, I feel like I understand the babies that cry when they’re tired, but just won’t go to sleep. Also, I don’t even know if this is a symptom of anything. I don’t know if this is something I should be concerned about, or if this is just another random side effect of one of the lovely medications I’m on. Oh, joy -__-. It could even be a non-related thing, who knows? I am going to call and ask, it’s just annoying that I can’t even tell anymore. They all kind of blend together into an indistinguishable blur of crappiness.

In addition, I just got home. This is good. I was planning to stay here. That’s still the plan. However, I seem to be developing a cold or something of the sort, because that’s just how I roll. You know, living on the edge! I’m hoping it stays as a small, normal, manageable cold that I stay home for, blow my nose, get in a few good sneezes, etc. You know…healthy people colds. That’s not how my body tends to react to colds or infections of any sort anymore, but it’s always finding new ways to surprise me, so I hope it can surprise me this time by behaving itself. Go, little immune system, go! I believe in you. =)

I talked to my dad, and he cheered me up! He was talking about the fantasy football league that he and some of the neighbors are in. Sadly, he didn’t make the playoffs this year, but he did win his last game…or something haha. He was bored because he doesn’t like to sit still for too long, so he went to get his watch fixed, and even looked at some new jobs. I was under the impression that he wouldn’t be working right now, but I guess he’s trying to fit in some smaller jobs until he starts treatment. Stave off the boredom until then, I suppose.

That’s all really.