Tag Archives: medications

Psychedelic Rainbow Turbo Squid Party in my Head

28 Jan

Apparently, I lost 5 lbs this weekend. My hem/onc was not pleased about it because the whole point of using the PEG tube was to gain weight…but if I know my body, it’s going to do exactly the opposite of what it’s supposed to. Maybe he should have put me on a diet…some reverse psychology could have worked? I dunno, just a thought. But if I know about it, is it really reverse psychology?

Anyways…I’m apparently on too much Dilaudid and IV Benadryl to have coherent thoughts right now? It’s like a psychedelic rainbow turbo squid party in my head. At least that means that I’ll be able to sleep tonight! That’s good, because my stomach is killing me!! Ugh. My lung nodules apparently like…grew or whatever. I was hoping for only good news since I started this new med for the mRCC in December. Some good news, though, is that I have been able to pee! Ok, maybe I didn’t need to share that? Ah, what the heck!

Anyways what was I saying…so I could have lost 5 lbs from having a fever and stuff and my body needed extra “juice” to keep it chugging. I’m supposed to keep eating with my mouth, too…you know, so I can still swallow and stuff later, but…I don’t wanna! It hurts and it’s just exhausting. Plus, I’m really not hungry. Pretty sure I don’t do enough in a day to work up an appetite. Well…except for when Prednisone is involved. Then, it makes me wanna eat anything ever.

They had me talk to the nutritionist, and she didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, but she’s nice, so…you know, whatever and stuff. Plus, now I have to eat on a neutropenic diet type thing until my counts come back up. Chemo kinda obliterated them. Makes it hard to actually know what to eat and what not to eat, so then I just get frustrated and say forget the whole thing and just do the PEG tube stuff. And I’m supposed to like…not have a lot of sugary things, I think cuz tumors like glucose, but not too much protein or anything acidic really, cuz my kidney is in the process of failing, and no fresh fruits or veggies because of my blood counts, but they said cooked veggies generally don’t have enough calories, and when you cook them, you lose a lot of the nutritional value…I feel like instead of telling me what NOT to eat, they should tell me what TO eat. I’m also having some irritation in my mouth and GI tract that just makes anything involving food kinda miserable, and once I get past the “eating” part of it…well don’t even get me started on what happens after that. No one wants to know. I don’t really know where I was going with this, so I guess I should stop before I divulge too much information lol. Kthxbai!

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Rambling On…

28 Dec

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They’ve actually decided not to have my dad treated at Moffitt, but he’s going to basically use the protocol suggested there, and be treated closer to home. We need all the prayer we can get right now. For one, all of this is really confusing with different doctors suggesting different things, and then it’s also really stressful and scary. I’m just trying to hold it together. It’s really hard to tell my parents exactly how much everything hurts or how scared I am, I don’t want to make them sad or nervous or anything, when at the same time I know that they want to know. And then I feel like my parents are always somewhere else in their heads…and rightfully so, but it’s hard to talk to them sometimes and feel like I’m getting their full attention. This whole thing just seems very isolating, because my little brother has been avoiding everyone a bit, and people are just kind of frustrating me for one reason or another. I don’t really know if it’s me or them to be honest. It could be me. I could very well just be irritable. I can’t really tell. Either way…my CT scans came back, and it showed more growth since the last scan, so the Votrient wasn’t quite doing the trick, so hopefully the Inlyta and Zanosar work, and my weight dipped down into the double digits during this last hospital stay, so I have to try to get it back up quickly…somehow…without consuming too many carbs or too much glucose in general since tumors feed off of that. Mission Impossible! Glucerna straight into my PEG tube, maybe?

There’s Always Hope!

4 Dec

So, My dad is doing better from his surgery! He’s off of the majority of his pain medications. He’s eating chicken breasts and crab legs. He just has to be sure to chew his food thoroughly before swallowing. This doesn’t surprise me, as this is the same man that ate Thanksgiving dinner the day after he had his wisdom teeth removed. He’s rock solid.

The official pathology report from his surgery was supposed to be back yesterday, which seemed a bit soon, seeing as his surgery ended Friday afternoon. It’s fine, though. I’m just anxious to know where he’s going from here. They said the report should be in between tomorrow and Friday. I’ll update as soon as I know.
He was talking to me about his fantasy football league. He’s bored from “taking it easy” so he’s going to run a few light errands today. This is all good!