Tag Archives: pain

Good Day

17 Nov

She woke up today. She is not in pain today. We spent good time with her. We got to cuddle with her we talked to her and told her all the good things people said to her and about her. We made sure she stayed comfortable all day. Today was a good day.

My Cousin

14 Nov

I’m writing this for my cousin. She is awake for only short times a day. She needs help doing most things. But her brother got the neighbors to put up their Christmas lights and him and his dad helped them do it. She has trouble breathing and a lot of pain. For Christmas she got a blanket and pajamas and fluffy socks and she really likes them. She likes the Christmas music too. Christmas is her favorite. If you have questions I can answer them and tell her messages for you but she says hi.

Getting Harder

30 Oct

Something that I’ve noticed is that it’s getting harder for me to breathe while I lie down. I have to be propped up if I want to breathe well, and it seems like I have to be propped up increasingly more as time has gone on. I don’t know how bad this is going to get, and I haven’t fully addressed it with my doctor yet, because I really just don’t want anything invasive anymore or to be stuck in a hospital again. But I am kind of scared because it’s getting to the point that it’s just harder to breathe in general even with my oxygen, so now I definitely have to fully explain it to my doctor as it’s not only uncomfortable, but it’s frightening. It’s also hard to get decent rest while sitting up, though I have been sleeping pretty much ALL the time.

My pain has been well controlled, and I’m pleased with that. The pain medicines might be causing a bit of my nausea and lightheadedness, but it’s better than the pain. I haven’t really been keeping up like I should with my nutrition and staying hydrated, but I’ll make more of an effort. I’m trying really hard to get used to these Depends, but it’s hard and embarrassing to have to adjust to something like this. I haven’t been making many updates because I haven’t really felt up to it, but I will still try to keep updating.

My mom is going to take some time off of work soon and we’re going to do Christmas a bit early this year. That should be fun. I love Christmas. It’s my favourite.

Outside

20 Oct

I went outside for a little while today. That was good because the weather is beautiful. Now I’m gonna nap. I don’t know why my leg/groin/inner thigh area hurts so much, I didn’t do anything to it, but it feels like I pulled something & my lower back is really sore. Weird.

Hello

17 Oct

Hi everyone, just wanted to make an update.

So the past couple days have been relatively okay. Just a few complaints. My mouth is so dry. I’ve been using the biotene products, but it’s not helping as much as I want it to. It’s so dry it hurts and I have the most awful taste in my mouth. And the nausea, probably from the pain medicines, and there’s this heartburn that won’t go away. It’s getting more and more intense. It was just an inconvenient gurgle at first, but now it’s like the pits of hell are rumbling up through my insides. I’ve been in my bed for most of the time…probably too many hours out of each day. I need to get up and do stuff, I think. I’m pretty sure it’s the depression. Maybe the fact that I’m always exhausted and always sleeping. But otherwise, not too bad.

On a happier note, my little brother got a new cell phone, and it’s lime green, so now we can text each other pictures and we can just…text more. So that is good. My dad and I had a good talk yesterday. My pain meds are working pretty well. I’ve made a classical music playlist that I like to listen to sometimes, and it’s just kind of relaxing. I also really like that song Royals by Lorde. My dad is doing fantastically well, still having dry mouth. He has to drink water and swish it around in his mouth when he eats food so that he can swallow it. But other than that, he’s doing fantastically. So, yeah, that’s my update.

Been A While

12 Oct

I have to get a chest x-ray. I think I got the pain medicine all figured out, because my pain level is way better, but I’m so sleepy and out of it. Sometimes things don’t feel real. It feels like I’m sleeping all the time or like everything is a dream even while I’m awake. I haven’t been posting much, either. Also, I grind my teeth when I sleep, and when I’m awake, it just feels like I’m clenching my jaw all the time, so my face always hurts. I can’t stop myself from doing it, though. I’ve been trying to talk to my dad, but I feel like I’m not really making sense, but I don’t know. I’m sleepy.

Someone Wrote This About Me

25 Aug

I know a 23 year old girl who has been declared disabled. She has had several types of cancer. She is weak and always sick. She coughs up blood. She is thin and can not eat solid foods. She visits the ER at least every 3 days to get blood and fluids and meds and nutrition to keep her alive. She has every right to give up on life. She is in pain all the time. She has been like this for over a year now. The doctors told her she has a less than 10% chance of surviving what she has.…

Do you know what she did last week? She started her next year in medical school. After her first day of school, she ended up in the ER to get blood. She then went home and started reading a required text that will likely take her most of the year to read. After the third day of school, she had to call an ambulance to go to the ER. She was coughing up blood and choking on it. She had procedures and then went back home late that night. She managed to get to school the next day. She still drives herself. She wants to be a doctor, and she is not giving up on that dream. She thinks everyday that this may be her last day. She is scared. She is in great pain. But, she is not giving up. 

It’s strange to think that I inspire people. It’s a weird feeling because I don’t know that I’m doing it. All I try to do is get through each day. When people tell me that they feel inspired by me or that I’m so strong, I usually end up feeling awkward. But somehow, this struck me. It showed me how by doing what I do, it can actually mean something. That motivates me to keep going even when it seems impossible. Thank you for believing in me. I will try not to let you down.

New News

20 Aug

I’m having a lot of bone pain in my pelvis and hips today and getting these weird sharp headaches that last for like 5 seconds on the left side of my head. My right eardrum was like…vibrating, too, and it was very uncomfortable. I had a little bit of tea and a cracker today, so that’s a lot of progress! I didn’t even throw it up. Maybe tomorrow, a piece of toast, who knows? I’m feeling so exhausted, I can hardly function. And my mom called me at like 10:30 last night when I was just…about…to fall…to sleep. Darnit! I usually go to sleep later, though, so she didn’t know. I called the hospital about my bill to ask for a student application for charity form. I can apply for them to forgive my bill. If that doesn’t work, then I can be on the sliding scale since I have no income, and only have to pay like 35% of the bill or something. I got tutored in pharmacology today, and it went really well. Since some of my classmates are tutors, they get paid for helping me study, and it’s free for me. So that means it’s a win-win for both of us! I got into a study group to do practice questions later on this week, too. I got some of my textbooks I ordered in the mail, too, so I got excited in the nerdiest of ways.

There was a shooting at an elementary school here in Atlanta. With an AK-47. Why can people even get those? What are they using them for? I don’t understand why anyone would shoot up a school, but especially an elementary school. It was a grown man, too…not a kid who brought their parents gun to school to like show their friends or something. There are some truly sick people out there. He told them to call some TV station. Did he do this just to get on TV? He’s been arrested now. Anyways, rant over. I’m gonna finish watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Still Dreaming

9 Aug

Last night I didn’t sleep very well. I slept on and off for a while, then was woken up at 5 AM and couldn’t go back to sleep because of the pain. Then, I slept on and off unintentionally all day. Tomorrow is going to be a long day, I know it, so I need to sleep well tonight. Hopefully my Ambien and Benadryl will kick in well tonight. While I did sleep, though, I had some strange dreams.

  1. In one dream, I was a nurse and I was new. I was teaching other nurses how the computer system worked. That dream was short and relatively normal.
  2. In another dream…I can’t even explain it properly. Me and several other people were all pretending to be one hillbilly and performing for a crowd with mud, trucks, horses, and this big wooden structure. Then we had to take care of the mud before our next performance, which some of the girls turned into babies and we all became gay. Then these Korean people showed the crowd that there were like six of us. Some people left, many stayed and thought it was beautiful. Then we danced ballet in the mud.
  3. I also had a dream that I was watching Supernatural while trying to simultaneously elicit and avoid a chemokine-induced shark attack in my bedroom on the second floor with mint leaves. I was terrified. I was also getting better cell phone service in the jungles of Haiti than out in the open in the cities. I don’t even watch Supernatural. I’ve never been to Haiti. The shark thing is just weird. I was doing that with my brother’s friend. The whole thing was strange.

 I swear I’d win a weirdest dream contest.

Virus

31 Jul

Finally found out what this stupid virus is, and here’s the kicker: there’s no treatment for it! Just have to rest, treat the symptoms, and let it run its course, which could potentially take up to 6 months!! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Meanwhile, I’ll just be here feeling miserable. But at least we know what it is and that it commonly resolves itself. It just takes a heck of a long time. LAME!

Yesterday, I got really really sick, I couldn’t even function like at all. I was totally out of commission. Then I had doctors appointments and my blood chemistry is all jacked up and I had to get a Neulasta injection. Neulasta is the spawn of Satan…to put it nicely. My everything hurts.