Tag Archives: paranoid

Monkey Business

24 Feb

So I’m about to complain hardcore in this paragraph…feel free to skip to the next one if you’d like lol.
My body aches, my head is pounding (worst headache ever of my life), and it’s been difficult to get my eyes to focus properly. My hands and feet are pretty much just on fire. I’ve been really sleepy, but for some reason…I can’t really sleep very well. I can sleep, but it’s restless sleep, if that makes any sense. My stomach is hurting really badly, but on the left, not the right. That kinda makes me nervous cuz they said to look out for signs of splenomegaly and stuff, so I’m hoping it’s just on that side, but nothing like…spleen related. It’s probably nothing, and I’m being paranoid because they said something…that happens. My shoulder kinda hurts when I breathe, but if I take really small breaths, it doesn’t hurt so badly. Ok, I’ll stop for now X_X

Soo…I decided to try to be more productive and watch videos that explain some stuff for school…maybe passively learn some of the material. I mean it’s like watching a movie, right? But to cover more material, I played it on double speed, which was funny to listen to. It made me laugh just to listen to his voice that fast and watch how fast he was writing on the board. I don’t know why I found it so funny, but it was funny for like an hour! He also compared connective tissue cells to monkeys and the extracellular matrix to a jungle and kept that metaphor going for a while. That helped make it even funnier. He kept calling it “monkey business.” So that worked ok for the first hour, but after that…I just couldn’t make myself care enough to pay attention. Oh well, at least I got a good laugh out of it.

I had a lollipop! It tasted weird and kinda made me drool (shh, don’t tell people that)…but it was really pretty! Before I ate it.

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All Buttered Up

22 Feb

I was in an oddly cheery sunshine-y mood yesterday, so I couldn’t help but to think…WHAT HORROR IS ABOUT TO BEFALL ME?! Until I remembered…that was my usual mood before everything got all jacked up…if my memory serves me correctly…which it no longer does… -__-

Well…today I realized that I was not totally wrong in thinking that I was just being buttered up for something. Today SUCKED! I mean my blood counts are coming up (that’s what the random bruises were from…low counts), and the fever is coming down slowly, but that was from the help of Neulasta…so that means bone and muscle pain and feeling just pretty much awful! Buuuut it also means I don’t have chemo tomorrow, so ha! I always feel kind of excited about not having chemo…but then I also feel nervous, too. Like in the meantime I’m just letting the cancer spread or something. But in the amount of time that I’m off of it…I don’t think that’s really an issue, it’s just me being kinda paranoid about it, I guess. I was also still really nauseated today. That sucks because the nausea seemed like it was starting to go away and then BAM! It was back…rude. *Le sigh*