Tag Archives: professor

You’re Probably Sick of My Dreams

31 Aug

I had a dream that I was a backup dancer for Robin Thicke, but all the other dancers were little girls and this one little boy. It was really awkward. This one little girl was crying. We were all trying to get attention from the audience so that we could win (win what? I don’t know), and this little girl, Julia, was a backup dancer and she was crying, so someone got on the loudspeaker and sang a song just for her. We got up and sang some children’s song together and then posed. Then, Robin Thicke came on stage to perform. People were kind of upset with him because his tour bus was blocking the view and he needed his own personal red carpet.

I also had a dream that Tom Cruise asked me to take his orange and black mustang and go kill people. He wanted me to be back by noon, which was impossible given the time constraints. So basically I turned into an evil guy and went and killed all these people, and then Adele was supposed to be driving them back to Tom’s office for me. She got in a car accident with all of the bodies in the car, and they flew everywhere. She then turned into a live sarcophagus that was upside down in the desert, but she looked like a giant bug. That sentence makes no sense, but that’s about how much sense it made in my dream. But yeah, I was upset because I just wanted Tom Cruise not to be upset with me because he would kill me.

Then I had a dream that I was at school and my parents were coming to visit. I was taking this really hard exam from my neuro professor, but it was on pathology. Then my parents met my pathophysiology professor who lived with a 3rd year. They took my parents to see the Dean, and I went back to class.

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Just…No

5 Mar

I can’t talk to anybody without bursting into tears…like I can’t say any words to anyone or have anyone say anything to me without just crying. It seems like all the crappy things just happen at once. My dad’s been really sick, my friend got in a car accident, I didn’t get the research position I applied for, and I haven’t been feeling well, to name a few.

Good things happened, too. I mean I had friends from back home visit me, and I did well on my histology/cell biology miniboard. I got 5 points above the national average, somehow…it was really heavy on cell bio. Light on the histo. I mostly just watched cell bio videos and didn’t study much histo. I got lucky that way. Most people studied the histo because it was explained to us that it would be mostly histo…I just never got around to it.

In spite of these good things happening, I just can’t seem to make myself feel happy. There’s more stuff my mom’s not telling me about my dad. She doesn’t want to stress me out, but I’m stressing out just thinking about what it could be and why she can’t just tell me. I just don’t feel like being around people that much. Mostly because I can’t make myself stop crying, and it’s really awkward. It’s just like…Hi, how are you? Or…How was your weekend? Something really simple, and then I just start crying. I feel like I have nothing to say to anyone. I literally just have nothing to talk about. Nothing interesting, at least. The only thing I can think about is how sad I feel and how crappy I feel all the time. I don’t wanna talk about that and no one wants to hear about that. So I’ve just been sitting around sulking and crying.

One of my professors pretty much dedicated her life to cancer research because her mom died of cancer. I talked to her and she gave me her cell number and told me to call or text her whenever, but like…I don’t really see myself doing that. She also said she was going to check in on me frequently. She said to connect with more people in the class, but like…HOW?!?!?! I try. Doesn’t work. Back to crying andĀ panicĀ attack city. This Ativan is crap.