Tag Archives: remission

Rant

14 Apr

GAHHHH!!!!!!! ***EXPLETIVES** WHYYYYYY?!?!

I went to the hospital, and they found another small mass. I’m so tired of this crap, seriously, I can’t handle it!! I just want cancer to leave me and my family alone! I feel SO defeated. I just wanna be better already and forget all this bull ever happened, but like…I don’t even know if I’m even gonna get better at this point, like I don’t even know if that’s the plan anymore. They just keep talking about “stabilization” and stuff, and I just wanna be better, I can’t live like this. I really can’t live like this. /rant

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Medicated Stream of Consciousness

28 Jan

I talked to my social worker and some other people, we looked at the advanced directives stuff and power of attorney stuff again to see if I wanted to update anything. I feel like that’s a bad sign, is that a bad sign? I keep getting these bad signs, and I’m not sure if it’s just me taking things the wrong way, or if they’re trying to off me! Like their goal just seems to be “progression free” and no one is saying anything like “NED” or “remission” or “cure.” I don’t know if their vocabulary is going to switch up later on, or if those are just not…options for me. I mean, I knew this was going to be a kind of longer term thing, but…uh…I’m like legitimately scared. I’m probably just overanalyzing each individual word and on too much medication, I dunno.